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Dilemma. I am home for the holidays and a guy I dated for about 5 months and whom I totally fell in love with has invited me to an NYE party. He was my first love, profoundly changed me and remains one of the best men I know. When I moved across the country earlier this year my heart broke 10 times over because I missed him so much, and I also truly longed for the awesome city we were together in. I'd go on nostalgic crying jags nights in a row. Eventually I settled in at my new place and have comfortably moving on but I still count him as a dear friend. We've both dated casually since then but nothing really stuck for either of us. Cut to about a month ago when I finally click with an OKC date. I've had several dates and 4 sleepovers with new guy, who is sexy and fun and I genuinely like and who seems to like me back. Here's the question: if new guy and I have not broached the topic of exclusivity/relationship status, is it okay to fool around with the ex? Part of me feels like it would be shitty of me—I don't think I'd super love it if new guy did something like that. But another part knows that I'm not beholden to the new guy, and I don't feel as though we are soul mates or anything. Not like I think anything will necessarily happen with the ex, but I wanted to put some forethought into it just in case something comes up. Guide me, Jezzies!


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